


I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

by gracerene



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Auror Scorpius Malfoy, Aurors, Divorced Harry Potter & Ginny Weasley, Extremely Dubious Consent, Fuck Or Die, HP: Epilogue Compliant, Head Auror Harry Potter, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, POV Scorpius Malfoy, Post-Hogwarts, Unrequited Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 13:03:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8057458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gracerene/pseuds/gracerene
Summary: It's been less than one week since The Incident.





	I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Writcraft](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writcraft/gifts).



> Happy Birthday, writcraft! I've been wanting to write a fic like this for a while now, but I never really had a reason and it seemed like one of those ideas that would perpetually be on the backburner. And then Kat and Amorette reminded us all that your birthday was coming up, and I thought that, despite (or perhaps because of) the angstiness, this idea might work perfectly for you. I really hope you enjoy this fic, and I hope you have a marvelous day, hon! <3
> 
> Title is from a MCR song, because I have no shame.
> 
> Thanks to capitu, sabethea, & oceaxe for helping me with this one. <3

Everything was going to be okay.

Scorpius took a deep breath, holding the air inside for a moment before exhaling in a rush. It did nothing to calm his jittery nerves or sooth the squeezing, fluttery sensation that had taken up in his stomach. A giddy, anxiety-drenched smile trembled on his lips, and he had to fight down the nervous laughter that kept threatening to bubble up. He'd always had the urge to smile and laugh on the most inappropriate of occasions.

Though in this case, Scorpius wasn't so sure it _was_ inappropriate. Sure, he was about to head to the weekly all-division Auror meeting, which wasn't exactly a bundle of laughs, but more importantly, he was about to see Harry. Just thinking his name caused something inside Scorpius to melt, and a hot and dreamy flush tingled over his skin. 

He hadn't seen Harry in almost a week now. Not since...well, not since _The Incident_. As per protocol, Scorpius had been immediately sent home and forced to take several days leave, despite his assurances that he was perfectly fine. More than fine, really. He shivered as he remembered that day, the anxiety, the fear, that unbelievable heat, and the burning, soul-shaking pleasure. Less than a week since Scorpius's entire world had been flipped on its head, and he was desperate to speak to the man who had done the flipping.

Scorpius had spent his mandatory days off (and the entire weekend, as well) replaying every single moment of _The Incident_ in his mind. With meticulous detail he'd combed through each minute facial expression and uttered syllable, analyzing their potential meaning, trying to decipher what it all signified. When that had become too much for him, he'd moved on to more pleasurable remembrances, his hand moving slickly over his throbbing prick.

Scorpius stood. Now wasn't the time to get lost in daydreams. Now was the time for action.

He got to the meeting room fifteen minutes early, hoping that maybe he'd catch Harry alone. Scorpius knew he was being silly—everybody knew that Harry was perpetually late for meetings—but Scorpius was sure if he sat at his desk a moment longer, he would actually burst from the anticipation. 

Sitting alone in the bland conference room wasn't much better, however. His leg began to tap-tap-tap against the floor in an effort to rid himself of some of the excess energy rocketing through his body. 

Shwetha Patil and her partner Tim Brown entered the room right as Scorpius was contemplating getting up and pacing. They were arguing good-naturedly as they sat next to him. Scorpius nodded absently as they tried to get him to choose a side in their disagreement, but he couldn't bring himself to care; the majority of his mind was occupied with Harry and the fact that in just a few short moments they'd finally be in the same room together for the first time since everything changed.

The rest of the Auror department began to file in, a blur of red and black and brown at the edge of Scorpius's vision. They sat around the table, leaned against the walls, filling the room with a kind of background noise that provided a nice counterpoint to the buzzing in Scorpius's head. It was all making him feel a little fuzzy, and his stomach roiled with a sick kind of tension. The pressure in his head mounted, a chaotic cacophony of discordant sensation until...everything stopped.

"Sorry I'm late everyone, got held up in a meeting with the Minister, but let's jump right in, shall we? Rollins, status report."

Every nerve in Scorpius's body went tight as a harp string as Head Auror Harry Potter strode into the room, his wrinkled red Auror robes flapping behind him as he hurried to the head of the table. He sat down and swept his gaze over the room. His eyes met Scorpius's and Scorpius felt something snap inside him, the tension leaving him in a dizzying rush as Harry's gaze continued on its path around the table. There had definitely been something there. Their eyes had only met for a second, but Scorpius had felt that gaze down in his very soul. 

He and Harry had a connection now, and Scorpius was sure he wasn't the only one who felt it.

|-|-|-|

Scorpius glared at the memo that had just zoomed into his office and dropped onto his desk. His Auror partner wouldn't be coming in today.

Scorpius knew that it wasn't Jordan's fault that she was sick, but they were supposed to be investigating the old Lestrange safe-house. They'd discovered is last week after months and months of painstaking leg work, and it was Scorpius's first moderately exciting assignment. Scorpius knew there was no way he'd be allowed to go alone. He'd only just become an official junior Auror six months ago, and he didn't have sufficient enough field experience to be allowed to investigate anything so monumental by himself. 

He had just resigned himself to another long day of paperwork when Head Auror Potter knocked on his open door. Scorpius's heart thud-thudded as he straightened up and gestured him inside with a faint blush.

"Head Auror Potter, what can I do for you?"

"No need for all that formality, Scorpius, please, call me Harry," _Harry_ said with a warm smile. His tanned skin crinkled at the corners of his eyes when he smiled like that, and those green eyes of his seemed to fairly sparkle. It made Scorpius's entire body feel flushed and warm, like he was standing beneath the summer sun.

"All—all right...Harry. Can I help you with something?"

"Actually, I'm here to help you. I heard Jordan called in sick today, and I know you two were scheduled to investigate that Lestrange safe-house you uncovered last week. I remember how monotonous that first year or so in the Aurors can be, so I thought I could fill in for Jordan and investigate the place with you."

A bubble of excitement expanded inside of Scorpius, stretching his chest tight until it popped and sent liquid anticipation rushing through his veins. "Really? You'd go with me?"

"If you'll have me."

Salazar, Scorpius would have Harry any way he could get him. 

Scorpius's face split into a grin that probably looked a little ridiculous, but he couldn't help it. Harry had gone out of his way to offer his help to Scorpius. He was Head Auror and he probably had a million things to do, but instead, he was here, volunteering to spend time with Scorpius so he wouldn't be bored. It would have been just as easy for him to assign one of the senior Aurors to go along with Scorpius, but Harry had come himself. Happiness curled through Scorpius as he thought of the fact that they would be alone together for hours, that maybe this was the opportunity he'd been waiting for to show Harry that he wasn't just some kid anymore.

Scorpius had been half in love with Harry for as long as he could remember. He'd always been fascinated by the heroic tales of Harry Potter during the war, and that fascination had only deepened when he'd finally met the man during the summer after second year when his best mate Albus had invited him to stay over for a few weeks. It wasn't until a few years later that Scorpius was finally able to put a name to the obsessive thoughts and desperate longing and dirty dreams that plagued him ever since he first saw Harry's warm smile. 

In seventh year, Harry and his wife announced they were getting a divorce. Albus had been pretty torn up but Scorpius had been secretly thrilled—even if he felt like a complete tool for it. Sure, he felt bad for what Albus was going through, but it felt like a sign, like destiny. Especially because Scorpius had been thinking about joining the Aurors after Hogwarts at the time. News of Harry's divorce had sealed it, and he'd signed up for training the next day.

Unfortunately, despite his daydreams of running into Harry all over the Ministry and slowly winning him over with his seductive charm, Scorpius hadn't seen too much of his idol over the past three years. Head Auror was a busy job, and not one that lent a lot of free time for coddling Auror Trainees and Junior Aurors. Which was why the fact that he was here, now, made Scorpius's skin tingle and his heart race. Surely this went above and beyond Harry's normal duties as Head Auror? He was taking a _special interest_ in Scorpius, and Scorpius was going to prove to him that it was deserved. Scorpius would win Harry's respect as an Auror and then he'd win his heart.

They Apparated to the safe house—separately, unfortunately: Scorpius had been hoping for an excuse to feel the muscle hidden beneath Harry's bulky Auror robes. Scorpius felt alight with nerves, but he took a few slow, deep breaths and walked the perimeter of the dilapidated building, casting the standard revealing charms. He found several nasty curses meant to prevent entry and was able to remove them with minimal sweating. 

"Excellent work, Scorpius," Harry murmured, sending a little shiver across Scorpius's neck. "We're lucky to have you on the Auror force."

"Thank you, sir."

"Come on now, call me Harry, I insist." Another one of those broad smiles that made Scorpius's insides quiver. "I don't think that last curse was covered in training. Where did you learn to disarm it?"

"My father. When he found out I was going to be an Auror he insisted on teaching me all the complex traps and spells that the Death Eaters used and how to disarm them. He said the war might have ended over twenty years ago, but the wizarding world still hasn't completely healed, and he wasn't letting his son go against the dark forces of the world unprepared."

Harry laughed, a full rich sound that seemed to echo in Scorpius's ears like the sweetest melody. "That sounds like him. Paranoid bastard." The words were fond, though, and Scorpius grinned back at him, feeling like they were sharing some kind of inside joke. 

Most of the Aurors hated Scorpius's dad, partially for his part in the war, but mostly because of his job as Head of Internal Affairs. There was an annoyingly prevalent attitude that Draco was out to get the Aurors, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. It drove Scorpius mad that his father could be so reviled for doing his job well and rooting out corruption. 

He was glad that Harry didn't see things that way. In fact, in the past year or so, Scorpius would say that it almost seemed like his father and Harry were becoming friends. Scorpius had seen them eating lunch together a few times, and once he'd even seen his father _laughing_ at something Harry had said. It had stunned Scorpius motionless. His father never laughed. It was nice to see him opening up, looking happy, and making friends. Scorpius hoped that if by some miracle he ever managed to get Harry to notice him, that it wouldn't fuck up the strange almost-friendship between Harry and his father.

Scorpius and Harry continued into the house, Scorpius doing his best to focus on the task at hand and not on the musky scent of Harry's cologne and how good he looked with a little bit of stubble along the line of his jaw. Scorpius might have been able to do it, if it weren't for the encouraging advice and compliments that Harry kept throwing Scorpius's way every time Scorpius thought he might finally able to concentrate. Harry's tone was gentle and almost paternal, but was Scorpius really just imagining that extra twinkle in Harry's eye whenever he looked at him?

So really, it wasn't entirely Scorpius's fault, what happened next.

Harry had just stopped in front of a window, his head cocked to the side as his gaze swept along the ceiling. The yellow sunlight filtered through the grubby pane, illuminating Harry in a hazy, dusty glow: his broad shoulders and large hands, his black sexy-messy hair streaked with distinguished grey, his stubbled cheeks and powerful legs and eyes the colour of dragon scales. Scorpius felt a little faint from it, all hot and flushed as lust sloshed through him like a potion stirred too quickly. He needed some air before he did something ridiculous...like climb Harry like a tree.

He turned and reached for the door handle next to him, registering Harry's shout and the sickly pulse of dark magic a split second before his palm touched the knob. 

Scorpius felt Harry's warm hand encase his on the door handle, but it was too late. A sharp spike of not-quite-pain jolted through his arm, and then everything went black.

|-|-|-|

Harry wouldn't look at him.

Thirty minutes had passed since the meeting had started and, except for that first electric meeting of their eyes, Harry hadn't glanced Scorpius's way once. Scorpius watched in frustration as Harry seemed to make eye contact with every other Auror in the room except for him. 

It was disappointing. Scorpius couldn't deny that the fact that Harry wouldn't even look his way stung worse than a Blast Ended Skrewt. He felt a glimmer of unease begin to snake through him. Maybe Harry was avoiding him. Maybe Harry didn't want him after all.

He knew Harry had resisted at first, and they hadn't exactly had an opportunity to clear the air afterwards, but Scorpius had gone over every moment they'd spent in that room together with a fine tooth comb. Harry was good through and through, and Scorpius was sure that had been what held him back. All that conflict and indecision had been Harry doing his best not to take what he worried Scorpius wasn't freely giving. But once he'd given in, he'd given in completely.

Scorpius had been there, had seen that look in Harry's eyes and felt the fever heat of his skin. They might have got their start under less than auspicious circumstances, but Harry wasn't one to turn away from something so undeniably real. He was probably just trying to stay professional. Maybe he knew that if he looked at Scorpius he wouldn't be able to hide the heat in his eyes, the naked want. Scorpius shivered. Yeah, maybe that was it.

Or maybe...maybe he was feeling guilty about what had happened. Scorpius had made no secret of his desire, but he hadn't yet spelled out his feelings for Harry. Perhaps Harry thought that he'd taken advantage, but that couldn't be farther from the truth! 

Scorpius had wanted it. He still wanted it, desperately. 

Harry was so good and noble, he would deny himself what he wanted if he thought his feelings weren't reciprocated. Yes, that must be it, that was just like Harry. So kind, so selfless. 

Scorpius stared at him, but Harry still refused to meet his eyes. He hated that Harry was probably torturing himself over a misunderstanding. Scorpius would talk to him after the meeting. He'd make him understand that he'd done nothing wrong. Scorpius had loved him for years, and Harry had no reason to feel guilty about what had happened. It was okay that he wanted Scorpius, because Scorpius wanted him right back.

Scorpius would confess everything, and then they could be together.

|-|-|-|

Scorpius's entire body felt like it was throbbing when he woke, his cheek pressed against a dusty wooden floor. He wasn't in pain exactly, but it seemed as it he was teetering on the very edge of it. A stiff wind might push him over into agony.

Gingerly, he pushed himself up, noticing with a frisson of fear that he appeared to be in a room with no windows and no doors. The only light was coming from a bright yellow ball of magic suspended mid air. Something inside of him relaxed. He knew that spell, and he knew he hadn't cast it. Which meant Harry was in here with him. And if Harry was there, then everything would be okay.

"Harry?"

"Are you all right, Scorpius?" Harry voice seemed rough, like he'd had to force the words out through a gravel-lined throat. Scorpius followed the sound of his voice and managed to make out the vague shape of him sitting against the far wall, just out of range of the glowing light. He was almost entirely obscured in shadows, but Scorpius still felt a flicker of flame ignite inside of him at the sight. 

"Yeah, I think so. I feel...strange. What happened? Why are you all the way over there?"

The room was beginning to heat, or maybe that was just Scorpius. His skin tingled in discomfort every place his clothing rubbed against it.

"There was a curse on this room. I tried to stop you, but it got me too. Good thing, I suppose." Harry laughed, but it wasn't that happy belly-laugh from earlier. This laugh was bitter and grated on Scorpius's ears like the sound of that awful Screech Owl Nott had insisted on keeping in their dormroom sixth year.

"Why? What's wrong?" Scorpius felt panic well up inside of him, but it wasn't as strong as he knew it should be. Something was dampening the fear, a sense of heat and a kind of strange urgency took precedence. He shed his Auror robes, but it still wasn't enough. It felt like a sauna. 

"There's some kind of dampener on the room; we can't use magic to escape or call for help. As far as I can tell, there's only one way to escape."

Scorpius knew he needed to pay attention to Harry's words, that the dejection and despair in Harry's voice should be setting him on edge, but he couldn't, it didn't. It felt like the low timbre of Harry's voice was vibrating down to Scorpius's bones, fanning that little flame into a raging inferno until it seemed as if it would burn Scorpius from the inside out. Scorpius slipped out of his shoes and socks, discarded his shirt. He was still hot, so very hot. Slowly, he crawled over to Harry.

The light bobbed along with him, illuminating Harry's haggard face and bone white knuckles as he clenched his knees tight to his chest. Every line of him spoke of misery, and it was so _wrong_. Harry shouldn't be sad. He should be happy all the time. Scorpius could make him happy.

Want throbbed in every cell of Scorpius's body, stronger than he'd ever felt before. He needed Harry. He'd die without him.

"What's wrong, Harry?" Scorpius asked. Well, purred was more accurate. He hadn't even known he could sound like that.

Harry's gaze moved to Scorpius, almost as if it was dragged there against Harry's will. He shuddered and clenched his jaw as if fighting back some terrible emotion. Was that lust he saw lurking in the depths of Harry's eyes? Blood rushed through Scorpius's head, and he licked his lips.

"We've been cursed," Harry rumbled, his voice falling on Scorpius's ears like rich Honeydukes chocolate. "It's...the countercurse only works with two people. If I hadn't been hit too, you would have died in here."

"But you were. You're going to save me, aren't you, Harry?" The thought of it, of being saved by Harry Potter, sent another delicious pulse of heat across his skin. Scorpius undid his belt buckle. Harry flinched.

"I—we have to—" Harry broke off, before whispering, "They know where we are, maybe somebody will come."

Scorpius took off his trousers, sighing at the momentary relief from the burning fire within. Somewhere inside he knew this was not normal behaviour, taking off most of his clothing in front of his boss and the man he was half in love with, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He felt powerless to stop it, just like he felt powerless against the great rising need welling up inside of him, shouting at him to touch, to _take_.

"What do we need to do, Harry?" Scorpius was right next to him now, close enough to touch, so he did. He moaned a little as his hands finally gripped those firm biceps and strong shoulders. Oh, he was just as muscular as Scorpius knew he'd be. He wanted to feel those muscles without all that fabric in the way, wanted to dig his fingers into Harry's hard flesh, feel the hot pulse of his heartbeat beneath his skin.

"Sex," Harry ground out through gritted teeth. "We have to have sex."

"Oh," Scorpius breathed, his hands growing bolder, more possessive. Yes, that was exactly right. They needed to have sex. Nothing in the entire world had ever sounded so utterly right.

Scorpius's fingers brushed against the exposed skin of Harry's neck, and Scorpius gasped at the toe curling pleasure of it. Harry's face twisted in pain. They couldn't have that. Scorpius was sure Harry was trying to be noble by resisting, but Scorpius didn't want him to be noble, not now.

"We'll die if we don't, Harry. Why are you fighting it?"

"Scorpius," Harry said, clearly trying to sound stern, but his name came out more like a moan. Scorpius shivered in delight. "Don't. You—you got the worst of it, I know, but this isn't—we shouldn't—"

"Why not?" Scorpius cooed. "You feel it too, don't you? Give in to it." Harry set his jaw, eyes screwing up against some wave of feeling, Scorpius pressed closer, moaning into Harry's ear when his erection bumped against the side of Harry's leg. "Don't look like that, Harry. This doesn't have to be a bad thing. I just want to make you feel good."

Harry's eyes seemed to pry themselves open as if by magic. Scorpius imagined what he must look like to Harry, his pale skin fever-flushed, his white-blond hair wild, and his normally ice blue eyes flooded with fire. He felt sexy and invincible, and even though Harry looked like he was about to be sick, there was desire simmering in his eyes. Didn't Harry see that it was pointless to resist? Why should they, when this was something they both clearly wanted?

Harry took a deep breath, as if to clear his head. "We need to try and resist, Scorpius. The curse is compelling us, this isn't real."

"Of course this is real. If I promise I want it, will you touch me then?" Scorpius slid his hand up into Harry's thick hair, and Harry flinched as if the heat of Scorpius's skin had physically burned him. A sudden flare of pain hit Scorpius right in the stomach, and he doubled over, gasping for air as the pain slowly began to fade.

"Are you all right?"

Scorpius sat up, sweat dripping down the side of his face to pool at the hollow of his throat. Harry was sweating too, his dark hair sticking to his forehead and the nape of his neck. He was still wearing his Auror robes, and he had to be fairly roasting in them. Alongside the lust and the afterimage of pain, Scorpius felt anger and humiliation twist together and lance through him.

"Is having sex with me so—" Scorpius could barely squeeze the words out between his panting breaths as pain, lust, and humiliation simmered in his veins. "—so repugnant that you’d rather we both die than go through with it?"

Harry looked like he'd been slapped. A maelstrom of emotions raged in those evergreen eyes. "Of course not. You're—" He shuddered. "You're a very attractive young man. But you're half my age, and I don't feel—I mean I'm seeing—oh, bollocks." Harry groaned, in pain or in lust Scorpius couldn't tell.

He looked so pitiful curled up against the wall, and yet Scorpius couldn't remember ever wanting him more. The heat seemed to have been cranked up once again, and this time Scorpius shed the last of his clothing, leaving him entirely nude. His prick was hard and leaking, and for just a moment, he felt Harry's greedy eyes trace over his bare skin before Harry slammed them shut and banged his head against the wall behind him.

Pain danced across the backs of Scorpius's calves and across his shoulder blades and he bit his lip on a silent scream. He'd had enough. Scorpius knew that Harry didn't want to take advantage, that he didn't believe that Scorpius wanted it, so Scorpius would just have to show him he was wrong.

Harry’s knees were still tight against his body, so Scorpius pressed up against them, shuddering at the rough feel of the fabric against his nipples. Harry looked at him in alarm, and then Scorpius slotted his mouth over Harry's and kissed him with everything he had. 

Harry tried to resist, though he was clearly reluctant to physically remove Scorpius for risk of hurting him. Instead, his body went stiff, his lips unmoving. 

Scorpius wasn't going to give up so easily. 

He moaned against Harry's mouth and slid a hand into Harry's hair. With the other, he found one of Harry's hands, those thick, strong fingers wrapped tight around one of his legs, and pried it loose. Scorpius guided the hand to his bare back, mewling into Harry's mouth at the feeling of Harry's skin against his own as he slowly dragged Harry's hand down his spine and towards the curve of his bum. 

"Please, Harry," Scorpius whispered against Harry's lips, staring deep into his eyes. "I need you."

Scorpius saw the moment when Harry gave in, when his resistance broke and something dark and far too complex for Scorpius's muddled brain to make out flooded Harry's eyes for just a second before the fog of lust set in. His hands pulled Scorpius to him and his mouth opened beneath Scorpius's eager lips.

He tasted like victory.

|-|-|-|

Harry ran out of the meeting as soon as it finished, but Scorpius had been prepared for that and was hot on his heels.

"Can we talk?" Scorpius asked when he caught up.

Harry looked at Scorpius from the corner of his eye and bit his lip. He kept scanning the busy corridor as if looking for somebody. He seemed on edge and distracted, and he looked terrible. There were dark circles under his eyes, his robes were horribly wrinkled, and his hair was even messier than usual. 

"Yes, yes, of course, Scorpius. You're right; we should talk. But can it wait? There's something else I need to take care of first." Scorpius tried not to feel offended that he wasn't Harry’s number one priority. He knew that Harry had other responsibilities, but surely Scorpius should rank high on the list after what had happened between them. Scorpius's heart began to race as he remembered the feeling of Harry's calloused thumbs digging into his hipbones, the musky smell of him, the sharp salt of his skin beneath Harry's tongue...

Harry turned towards Scorpius and flashed him a bland smile, his eyes never quite meeting Scorpius's. "We'll talk later, all right?"

He turned and walked briskly down the corridor, leaving Scorpius to stare after him. 

Scorpius knew he couldn't be misreading things. Yes, the curse had complicated matters, and Harry was clearly feeling a little mixed up, but there was no way the compulsion had been responsible for everything. Scorpius himself was proof of that, wasn't he? His desire for Harry had been magnified, absolutely, but it hadn't been fabricated out of nothing. He refused to believe the same wasn't true for Harry. Harry had touched him with such gentleness and passion, had looked at him with undiluted desire. They had moved together as if they were made for one another, and Scorpius was positive beyond a doubt that no curse could have been responsible for all of that. He just couldn't believe it. 

Harry was the one who needed convincing, and he needed to stay in the same room as Scorpius long enough for Scorpius to explain everything to him. 

Scorpius began to walk down the corridor that Harry had disappeared into. He would find wherever Harry had gone, and wait outside the office until he had finished.

Then, they would talk.

|-|-|-|

It took ages for Scorpius to finally escape from St Mungo's. The Healers had been extremely thorough, but except for some dehydration and bruising, Scorpius was completely fine. Physically, at least. Emotionally, he felt like he was riding on the back of an out-of-control dragon. He needed to see Harry, needed to see with his own two eyes that he was okay. The Healers had told him that Harry was fine, but Scorpius couldn't rest until he had proof.

He was supposed to head straight home, but Scorpius Flooed to the Ministry instead. Scorpius snuck onto the second floor—he was supposed to be home on leave—and went straight to Harry's office. He grinned at Marge, Harry's personal assistant. She looked at him disapprovingly.

"Aren't you supposed to be on leave?"

He felt a flicker of unease. Did everybody in the Auror department know what happened? "Why? What did you hear?"

"That you were hit with some kind of nasty curse and barely made it out alive, which means you should be on leave, as per protocol." She scrutinised him above her wire-frame glasses. "You don't look like you're on death's door to me."

Scorpius shrugged in what he hoped was a nonchalant manner. "Healers. Anyway, do you know where Ha—Head Auror Potter is? I need to speak with him." Marge raised her eyebrows. "It's about what happened. I'm assuming he's filing the report?"

Marge nodded, seemingly satisfied with his answer. "He's not in right now. I believe he's with Internal Affairs going over what happened." Scorpius paled. Oh God, his father.

Without a word, he turned on his heel and hurried down the corridor towards his father's offices, completely ignoring Marge's voice echoing after him.

The door to his father's office was closed, and the blinds were shut, which meant he had to be in there right now with Harry. Scorpius didn't even bother knocking before he barged in.

Harry was sitting in the uncomfortable chair across from Draco's desk, eyes wide and hands shaking in his lap. He looked devastated, like somebody had just run over a baby crup right in front of him. Fuck, was Scorpius too late? He turned to look at his father. Draco's expression was as hard and unmoving as stone. Scorpius shivered at the blank look on his face. His dad only got like that when he was trying extra hard to conceal a really strong emotion. He was probably furious with Harry.

"What are you doing here, Scorpius?"

"It wasn't Harry's fault!"

"Harry, is it?" Draco said, almost too softly for Scorpius to hear. Harry made a sort of protesting sound, but Scorpius ignored him. He needed to make his father understand

"I know you're probably trying to protect me or something, but Ha—Head Auror Potter saved my life. I would have died without him, and he didn't force himself on me or anything, I promise. If anything, I was the one who seduced him."

Draco flinched, almost imperceptibly, but Scorpius had grown up with him and knew his tells. Apparently Harry was even more observant than Scorpius had realised because a small wounded noise escaped his throat when Draco's flinched. Right, they had been starting to become friends. Scorpius couldn't blame Draco for not wanting to hear the details of what happened, but it wasn't fair of him to blame Harry.

"I see," Draco murmured.

"Do you?" Scorpius asked. "Because it would be completely unfair to punish Head Auror Potter for anything that happened. He didn't do anything I didn't want and he was…" Scorpius blushed as he remembered those strong hands around his prick, gripping him with such care as they brought him higher and higher and…

"I think that's quite enough," Draco said, his voice still low, but with a thread of icy resolve that could have frozen a volcano.

Scorpius looked at Draco, afraid that if he looked at Harry just then everything they had done together would be visible on his face. Which was probably not something he should expose his father to, not when Harry's career was in the balance. His father's face looked strange, an out-of-place sort of anguish barely visible between the cracks in his imperfect stone mask.

"As far as I can tell, Head Auror Potter has committed no wrongdoing. I see no need to conduct any further investigation. Head Auror Potter, you are free to go."

Harry didn't move. "Draco," he said, his tone almost pleading. There was a raw, broken quality to Harry's voice, as if Draco had just told him he was being charged for a crime instead of declaring him blameless.

"I said you are free to go, Head Auror Potter. Please see yourself out." Scorpius had never heard his dad sound so cold before. Something about it pierced straight into Scorpius's heart, even though he knew it wasn't directed at him. Scorpius felt terrible for wrecking his father and Harry's friendship, but he was sure it would be fine. Once Scorpius and Harry had a chance to talk and straighten things out, his father was bound to come around.

With shaking slowness, Harry picked himself up out of the chair. He gave Draco one last inscrutable look, before hurrying out of the room.

He didn't look at Scorpius once.

|-|-|-|

For some reason, Scorpius wasn't surprised when he realised that it had been Scorpius's father's office that Harry had been hurrying off to. He wasn't sure _why_ he wasn't surprised, but he wasn't. He was certainly curious though.

Draco's office was at the end of a usually deserted corridor, and neither he nor Harry had bothered to close the door to his office. Scorpius cast a quick disillusionment spell on himself and crept closer. 

Draco was sitting straight backed in his chair, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else. Harry perched on the edge of his seat, leaning towards the desk and speaking frantically. 

"Draco, please," Harry said, begged. "It wasn't like that. You know it wasn't."

"So you didn't have sex with my son? I must have misunderstood the report."

"It wasn't as if I had a choice in the matter. I certainly haven't been secretly lusting after him. He's barely an adult, for fuck's sake! Not to mention he's my subordinate." Ice crystallised in Scorpius's veins, freezing him from the inside out. Surely Harry was lying. Scorpius wasn't sure _why_ he was lying, but that had to be it. It just had to be.

"Do you think it's been easy for me?" Harry continued. "That I'm not—that I don't feel...violated by what happened. Knowing that my body was compelled to do things, to want things, all against my will?" Harry's jaw trembled and he rubbed as his eyes beneath his glasses. He looked completely shattered. Almost as shattered as Scorpius felt, as if somebody had struck him with a blasting curse and the ice in his veins had splintered into a million pieces. Still, he felt rooted to the spot, forced to watch and listen.

"If there had been any other way…" Harry's voice was thick and damp. "Hell, if it had been just me that had been affected I could have...But it wasn't just me, and he's your son, Draco. I know what he means to you, I couldn't—I tried to put it off as long as I could, but God, I couldn't let him die. Would that have been easier for you to forgive?"

Scorpius looked to his father and he sucked in a dizzying breath at the open grief on Draco’s face, the devastation creasing his brows and twisting his lips. "Of course not. Of _course_ not," he growled, voice fierce and full of conviction.

Harry looked up, seeming somehow smaller. "Can you really not get past it?" he whispered.

Oh, _Merlin_. Scorpius gripped the door jam, bile rising in his throat as the pieces slotted together. His father and Harry weren't just friends. Or, at least, they hadn't been. A thousand emotions all warred in Scorpius's gut as he stared at the two of them. He wasn't sure what he felt. Burning envy towards his father for getting Harry's love when that had been all Scorpius had ever wanted, guilt for the pain that he'd caused, humiliation for thinking that Harry could ever want him, fury at his father and Harry and himself most of all for this terrible situation.

"I don't know," Draco responded, after a long pause. "Can you? Can Scorpius? He's my son, Harry. He's always going to come first, and he's not going anywhere."

Scorpius hated that the words warmed and chilled him in equal measure.

"I know. I just...I miss you." Harry's voice shook with the force of his emotion. "God, I need you, Draco. I don't want to lose you."

Something cracked open inside Draco, the fissure visible in Draco's pained expression. Salazar, it hurt just to look at him, to look at all that vulnerable messy emotion on his father's normally collected face. 

And then, softly, so quiet that Scorpius almost couldn't hear him, "I need you too, Harry."

A heavy silence descended over the room as his father and Harry stared at each other, the width of the desk between them as wide as a Quidditch pitch. It was too much, the emotion on their faces, the anguish and uncertainty. The knowledge that Harry had never truly wanted Scorpius, that what Scorpius had seen as an act of love, Harry had seen as a violation.

His heart in pieces, Scorpius fled.

Nothing was okay.

 

_Fin_

**Author's Note:**

> [Kudos ♥] and [Comments] are fabulous! I'd love to hear what you think!
> 
> Come find me on [tumblr](http://gracerene09.tumblr.com/)!


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